Artist seeks support for hypnotherapy to overcome permanent fear of vomiting

Melody Grossman, 32, a graphic designer and artist who divides her time between London and Berlin, has had emetophobia (fear or anxiety of vomiting or seeing others vomit) for as long as she can remember.

Although she is not sure how the phobia developed, she remembers having a “fear of vomiting” as a child and said her last memory of being sick was when she was only six or seven years old.

Now, Melody said she thinks about her emetophobia “several times a day,” describing it as “a little monster that lives inside her,” and often finds herself unable to sleep, eat or leave the house because of her fear of being sick.

She said she “constantly worries” that the food she has eaten will upset her stomach, and when she experiences nausea, she stays up “all night” doing everything she can to prevent vomiting, including taking medication.

Melody has spent years in therapy and tried various medications, but is now fundraising for specialist hypnotherapy sessions at a Berlin clinic, as she believes this may be the best way to end the “distressing cycle”.

Melody told PA Real Life: “I haven’t been sick since I was six or seven, which I think contributes to my phobia because the last memory I have of being sick is being terrified as a child.

“Last year I got to a point where I felt like I couldn’t deal with this anymore, this is clouding my whole life, I can’t do it, and that’s when I started looking into hypnotherapy again.

“Honestly, being able to overcome the phobia would be life-changing. I can’t even imagine a life right now without this fear constantly in the back of my mind.

“Everything would change.”

According to the NHS, emetophobia is characterized by a marked fear or anxiety of vomiting oneself or seeing others vomiting.

It is often accompanied by distressing physical symptoms of anxiety, such as increased heart rate, changes in breathing, feeling nauseous, and lightheaded.

Melody believes her emetophobia developed during her childhood, but she doesn’t know exactly what caused it.

“I can’t identify a particular memory, but I think it’s been there my whole life,” he explained.

“I think it’s normal to be afraid of vomiting as a child; it’s scary, you don’t know what your body is doing, but then it becomes something else when you become an adult.”

Melody said she last remembers being sick on a plane, at age six, and suffering from food poisoning, at age seven, meaning she hasn’t vomited in more than two decades.

Since then, Melody said her emetophobia has worsened, to the point where it prevents her from “continuing with her daily activities,” such as shopping.

She said: “I remember thinking, ‘How can I not just go to the supermarket and do my shopping?’”

Melody said she has “obsessive thoughts” about food, expiration dates and cleaning every day; has compulsive tendencies, such as “excessive handwashing”; and often finds himself unable to sleep at night.

She said the fear and anxiety of being sick can be “debilitating” and when it comes to flying, she feels “very unwell for days or even weeks before any trip.”

“I’ve had previous periods where I would stay up all night because I felt sick and I would try to do everything I could not to get sick,” she said.

“I’m constantly worrying about what I’ve eaten, whether I’ve prepared it safely, whether the food was stored hygienically… and very often I’ll be thinking about something I’ve eaten hours later and it’s very mental. draining

“Then there is the fear of getting sick or feeling bad in public spaces and of not being able to escape, of not being able to control my body’s response.

“I know the phobia itself may seem silly because not many people enjoy being sick, but it’s more than that: it’s the anxiety that comes with it that can be debilitating.”

Melody said she has spent thousands of dollars on therapy, such as cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) and talk therapy, has tried several medications and has seen a “group of specialists.”

She said these treatments, along with meditation and journaling, have helped her, as she has learned techniques to “interrupt (her) thought patterns,” but her emetophobia remains an “exhausting” presence in her life.

Describing her phobia, which causes “severe panic attacks” and physical symptoms of shaking, sweating and nausea, she said: “In therapy, I have often visualized it as a little monster or creature living inside me.

“Sometimes it’s dormant and then when you least expect it, this monster speeds up and can be unpredictable.

“It becomes this horrible, distressing cycle where I feel bad at the thought of being sick and it’s almost impossible to get out of it.”

Melody said there are a lot of misconceptions surrounding phobias, especially because they can’t be “seen from the outside,” and she has found that some medical professionals are “dismissing” her symptoms.

He said he has seen some “amazing therapists” and has already tried hypnotherapy, but these sessions have taken a toll on him “financially”, meaning he is now turning to the public for help.

That’s why he has set up a fundraising page to help pay for specialist hypnotherapy sessions at a Berlin clinic, which will cost around £3,000.

“There is a clinic in Berlin that has its own hypnosis techniques and they have many positive case studies,” he said.

“I think a lot of people expect it to be like on TV, where a magician hypnotizes you and then can make you do whatever you want, but it’s not like that at all.

“You’re just in a very deeply relaxed state, and when you’re in that state, you can access certain parts of your mind that you normally can’t access.”

Melody, who has raised more than £700 so far, said seeing the donations has been “emotional” and hopes the fundraising will encourage others to seek help and speak out.

She offers her brightly colored abstract artworks in exchange for people’s generosity, including A4 prints, tote bags and floral paintings, and hopes to overcome her emetophobia one day.

Speaking about the fundraiser, she said: “I feel my heart racing with everyone’s kindness and support.

“If more people felt comfortable talking about (their phobias) after reading this, that would be more than enough for me.

“I would be very happy if this made at least one person feel more hopeful or more able to share their story.”

For more information or to make a donation, visit Melody’s fundraising page here: melodygstudio.com/fundraising-mental-health