Dear Annie: the postpartum spiral of the cousin is dangerous; Do I interrupt or continue to offer support?

Dear Annie: My cousin, who is more like a sister for me, has been making a series of reckless and worrying options during the past year. After having her second baby, she left her husband and began dating a series of abusive men of limits. He is now signing the total custody of his children from her ex -husband and impulsing a house outside the state.

The biggest challenge is that he rejects something less than the full support of his family and friends. She completely cut her sister, jumping her wedding, just by suggesting that she looks for mental health help. Nor has he talked to his mother in months.

I don’t want to leave her because I think she really needs help. But at the same time, she is manipulating her ex -husband to obtain more food pension while staying with a man who has repeatedly yelled at her in public. I fear that it is a danger to herself, but I say something, I know she will also interrupt me.

Should I stay in your life in case I finally need me, or is it time to adopt a tougher posture and stop allowing your behavior? – Confused cousin

Dear confused: You can’t save someone who doesn’t want to be saved. His cousin is making destructive decisions, but has also made it clear that any setback will lead to being cut. That is your decision, not yours. Obviously, she needs professional help, and if there is any way she can help her, of course, do it.

Meanwhile, offer support where you can, without enabling it. If you ever communicate with real help, be there. But you are not responsible for fixing her life, and chasing her will only drain you. Sometimes, the best thing you can do for someone in crisis is to step back and let them face the consequences of their choices.