Trump has terrified me for the life of my transgender son

In my favorite photo of my children’s childhood, my eldest son is tilting and straightening his younger brother’s tie, while his brother meets a perplexed giving look on his face. He is so typical of the two, especially the oldest. It is useful, a little mandon, always taking care of his younger brother and always directs our fashion elections. He was a reflective and kind child who became a reflective and friendly young man.

Now his life is in danger.

I woke up in a sweaty panic at 2:30 am on January 29, hours after President Donald Trump He signed an executive order that limits the attention affirmed by the genre for children and adolescents under 19 years – One of the various executive orders that have signed that they point to transgender and non -binary people.

It comes for trans adults belowI thought. Will criminalize being trans.

I put myself in this thought in the way one touches a pain of pain with the tongue, following it in the most terrifying corners of my mind. I imagined extermination fields. I imagined trans people from their homes, their loved ones, their lives. I imagined others who did nothing to stop it. I couldn’t turn off my brain.

In those moments without breath, what I I couldn’t Imagine was how to keep my child trans, now 22 years, safe, at least not in a way that would allow us to remain a family. Where can you go? I wondered, mapping escape routes in my mind. Who can we ask to hide it?

I made a mental list of names, refuse to risk an electronic paper or path, think of places and people who would welcome it, keep it safe, hug it until I can again. I let my imagination wander this dark path until my heart almost broke with a vision of what could happen.

What I did not think, not until much later, after my panic had followed his course and remembered breathing again, was what my son would like. It is sobering to know that I cannot force him to do what I think he would keep him safe, and that trying to do so undermine the strength that the trans has given him, and would steal him from his gain harshly, fulfilling life.

My son is a fighter, a survivor. It has had to be, starting at a very early age when he discovered that his sex assigned to birth and his gender identity did not coincide. He fought to understand himself, and then to be understood by others. He fought to be affirmed and respected and treated with dignity. If he suggested that the safest life for him be in the shadows, he would not be honoring any of that, even if my desire can be understood as the desperate love of a scared father.

There is much to love my son. It is kind. He is a leader. It has a sense of evil humor and a wonderful streak of mischief. Look for others and is much fresher than any offspring of mine has the right to be. He throws himself to new things and loves with all his heart. The most important thing, he loves himself.

If the Republicans left their own, he would hate himself in not existing. They have absolutely declared that “The transgender must be eradicated from public life,“And what they want to end”Awakening gender ideology. “According to the Trevor project, LGBTQ+ youth have more than four times more likely that their classmates commit suicide – Not because of their sexual orientation or gender identity, but for bullying, bullying, lack of support and ingestion of messages that their own existence is in debate. For my son to love himself despite everything that is one of the greatest miracles of my life.

It is something strange and terrible to recognize that my most fierce desire, so that my son survives what Trump and his thugs have reserved for trans people, he has the potential to damage him in the same way. I don’t want you to hide who you are, avoid connection and community, or sacrifice your future. That is what was supposed to live as his authentic self had to prevent. I want him to live his life aloud, be as visible as he wants, and experience joy and love blatantly.

I will do anything to save my son’s life, but I will not ask him to live a life like anyone who is not who really is. And I know that is exactly what he wants for himself, and for everyone.

I have read that having a child is like making your heart walk out of your body, and I agree. However, having a trans child is like making other people shoot arrows daily. I want nothing more to protect it from those arrows, take it between them and him, but there is that. Curse. Many.

Trans people need allies to protect them from arrows. They need support. They need community. Their lives may seem very small in the face Do not pay attention to the man behind the curtain Because they are stealing you blind and removing your rights and selling your security to our enemies and delivering unlimited power to billionaires.

Nothing that is having a bad time in the country today has anything to do with trans people. But they are making the fault of a large size so that you do not notice that you are a frog in a pot of water that is getting very, very hot.

So what can we do? We can call our elected officials and tell them that they need to protect trans people. We can learn more about trans and lives. We can speak when friends or family say transphobic things or repeat the erroneous information Anti-trans. If we see that a trans person is attacked, either in a public bath, on the bus or anywhere else, we can intervene and try to calm the situation.

We can donate to Organizations They are Working tirelessly To protect Trans rights. We can tell trans people in our lives that we care about them and ask them how we can help better. We can refrain openly about people’s identities, even if they are willing to do, to help keep them safe.

I remember when my son went to his first parade of pride with the gender and sexuality alliance of his school. I left him at the meeting place and I saw him join his teammates. Suddenly, I felt sure that I didn’t get so far away from me as I walked towards something wonderful, something I would share with me once I was completely within your reach.

I look for that feeling today, reaching the news, noise and hate. He is misty, weak, but he’s there.

All I can make is to remember and let my son guide me. I am ready to help do whatever it is to save your huge and beautiful life.

Grace Finch is the pseudonym of a passionate activist, ally and father. She uses the storytelling to raise marginalized communities and shed light on opportunities to combat oppression. She lives on the east coast with her family and in her free time volunteers with community organizations that serve LGBTQ people and their loved ones.

If you or someone you know needs help, call or send a text message to 988 or chat 988lifeline.org For mental health support. In addition, you can find local mental health and crisis resources in Doncallthepolice.com. Outside the USA, visit the International Association for Suicide Prevention.

Do you have a convincing personal story that you would like to see published in HuffPost? Discover what we are looking for here and send us a launch to [email protected].